I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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