YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
