another moral hangover. fuck.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
