He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize