Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
