I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Farmville is her only friend.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
