Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
