i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
