why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
