I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
