her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
