You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Randomize
