i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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