bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
