i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
