If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I have post one night stand depression
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
