Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
