Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
