remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
