So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
