You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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