a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
