I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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