Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
