hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
tell me about the fingering
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