so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This house was built for laser tag.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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