I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
