Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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