We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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