I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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