At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
