I accidentally burped into my bong.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
