well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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