if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
