I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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