ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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