There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
