Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
no you cant smoke seaweed
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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