I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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