Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
