do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
