I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
