just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
True college students do jello shots in the library
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