just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
