I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
