How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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