Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
