its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
