I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
