I want to walk on stilts...naked
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
