WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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